By Susie Cantalope
Back near the end of last year, kickstarter lit up with a film project that was written by Bret Easton Ellis, going to be directed by Paul Schrader (the screenwriter behind Scorcese’s Taxi Driver) and produced by Braxton Pope. This team was going to produce a $100,000 feature film called THE CANYONS starring Lindsay Lohan and the top male porn star in America, James Deen. Watchbox Blogger, Laura Zinger, interviewed Ellis and Pope via phone for an hour prior to the end of the kickstarter campaign, which did reach its $100,000 goal and then some.
This week, NYT.com release an article updating the universe about THE CANYONS which has actually been completed.
Highlights from the article:
1) Against THE CANYONS’ high hopes, the film DID NOT get into Sundance (It was also denied into SXSW for “Quality issues”).
2) Lindsay Lohan was a nightmare to work with.
3) Director, Paul Schrader, the WRITER, of Taxi Driver got naked for a sex scene to make Lohan more comfy with her 4 way sex scene.
4) The best actor was probably James Deen, the most popular male porn star in America whose parents are apparently Pasadena Rocket Scientists, NO JOKE.
5) The writer of THE CANYONS, Bret Easton Ellis, did not seem to like the finished film and he may lose his condo which is a damn shame because he’s a good writer.
6) Steven frickin’ Soderbergh saw a cut and offered to re-edit it in 72 hours and Schrader said NO ( Not that Soderbergh is impressing anyone at all with his filmmaking these days. I actually saw Magic Mike BECAUSE it was Soderbergh. It was one of my best girlfriends and I and a party of ten gay men at a theater you could drink at. 15 min into the film, WITH A BEER MIND YOU, I started to hate myself for watching this film that was just objectifying men how women are objectified. No depth whatsoever, bad acting, ugh so maybe Schrader made the best choice but STILL if Soderbergh is offering to recut your film, your film pretty much SUCKS! ).
Really, the problem with the film was not Lindsay Lohan, it’s that this this film is basically porn that is trying to be passed off as an indie film. If you want to make 4 way sex scenes with Lindsay Lohan and cast a HUGE male porn star, don’t act like you’re making high art. Because, in fact, what THE CANYONS IS is a $100,000 plus, kickstarter-funded porno.